Frank: …And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them ALL THE WAYS THEY HAVE DISAPPOINTED YOU OVER THE PAST YEAR!
Kramer: And is there a tree?
Frank: No, instead there’s an aluminum pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.
Kramer: Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.
Frank: Let’s do it, then! Festivus is back! I’ll get the pole out of the crawl space!

9.10 - The Strike

Elaine: What?
George: Nothing. It’s a card from my dad.
Elaine: What is it? “Dear son, Happy Festivus”? What is Festivus?
George: It’s nothing.
Jerry: When George was growing up —
George: Jerry, NO!
Jerry: — his father hated all commercial and religious aspects of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday.
Elaine: Ohhhhh, and another piece of the puzzle falls into place.
George: Alright.
Jerry: And instead of a tree, didn’t your father put up an aluminum pole?
George: Alright, Jerry, stop it!
Jerry: And weren’t there always Feats of Strength that always ended up with you crying?
George: I can’t take it any more, I’m going to work! You happy now?!

9.10 - The Strike

Jerry: Leo, I saw you at Brentano’s yesterday.
Uncle Leo: Why didn’t you say ‘Hello’?
Jerry: Because you were too busy stealing a book.
Uncle Leo: You still say ‘Hello’!

9.17 - The Bookstore

Walter: So, Elaine…are you going to dance this year?
Elaine: Maybe. All over your face!
Waitress: If you do dance, the cooks want to know so they can be brought out of the kitchen. They missed it last year.

9.17 - The Bookstore

9.05 - The Junk Mail

Jack (The Wiz): Excuse me, can I borrow your ketchup?
Elaine: Oh, sure.

9.05 - The Junk Mail

9.22 - The Clip Show

9.18 - The Frogger

Elaine: Here’s one. I borrowed Puddy’s car and all the presets on his radio were Christian Rock stations.
George: I like Christian Rock. It’s very positive. It’s not like those real musicians who think they’re so cool and hip.
Elaine: So, you think that Puddy actually believes in something?
Jerry: I mean, it’s a used car. He probably never changed the presets.
Elaine: Yes! He is lazy.
Jerry: Plus, he probably doesn’t even know how to program the buttons.
Elaine: Yes! He is dumb.
Jerry: So you prefer dumb and lazy to religious?
Elaine: Dumb and lazy I understand.

9.16 - The Burning

Kramer: What are those?
Manager: Those are raisin bagels.
Kramer: I never thought I’d live to see that…

9.10 - The Strike

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