Elaine: What?
George: Nothing. It’s a card from my dad.
Elaine: What is it? “Dear son, Happy Festivus”? What is Festivus?
George: It’s nothing.
Jerry: When George was growing up —
George: Jerry, NO!
Jerry: — his father hated all commercial and religious aspects of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday.
Elaine: Ohhhhh, and another piece of the puzzle falls into place.
George: Alright.
Jerry: And instead of a tree, didn’t your father put up an aluminum pole?
George: Alright, Jerry, stop it!
Jerry: And weren’t there always Feats of Strength that always ended up with you crying?
George: I can’t take it any more, I’m going to work! You happy now?!
9.10 - The Strike
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Jerry: What are you doing?
Kramer: Getting some cereal.
Jerry: That’s — that’s tomato juice!
Kramer: That looked like milk to me!
8.08 - The Chicken Roaster
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Newman: Okay, what is it?
Jerry: Here, take a look at this card, tell me if you notice anything unusual about it.
Newman: Yeah, your nipple’s showing.
Jerry: Okay, thanks.
Newman: Anything else?
Jerry: No.
Newman: Alright. See you later.
4.13 - The Pick
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TV Announcer: It looks like Woody Woodpecker is running out of air. In fact, he’s collapsing.
Kramer: Those kids look pretty disappointed.
Jerry: Especially that big kid up in the front. How old is he?
6.08 - The Mom and Pop Store
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Jerry: I never knew what to say to her about it! It was one of those problems I hoped would just go away!
8.04 - The Little Kicks
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Elaine: You should see his bathrobe, man. It’s all silk.
Jerry: Yeah? Does he wear slippers, I bet he wears slippers.
Elaine: He does! How’d you know that?
Jerry: I can tell.
3.11 - The Alternate Side
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Jerry: Leo, I saw you at Brentano’s yesterday.
Uncle Leo: Why didn’t you say ‘Hello’?
Jerry: Because you were too busy stealing a book.
Uncle Leo: You still say ‘Hello’!
9.17 - The Bookstore
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George: It never ends, this present stuff. Engagement present, then they get married, you gotta get ‘em something for that. Then a baby, there’s another present. Then the baby’s gettin’ their presents. I don’t even like Drake!
Jerry: You don’t like the Drake?
George: Hate the Drake.
Elaine: I love the Drake!
Jerry: How could you not like the Drake?
George: Who’s the Drake?
Elaine: Who’s the Drake?!
Jerry: The Drake is good!
4.22 - The Handicap Spot
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