Elaine: You wanna taste mine?
George: Oh, you wanna taste mine?
Elaine: No I don’t.
George: If you wanna taste mine, you don’t have to offer me some of yours.
Elaine: Alright, let’s just forget it.

5.07 - The Non-Fat Yogurt

Frank: …And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them ALL THE WAYS THEY HAVE DISAPPOINTED YOU OVER THE PAST YEAR!
Kramer: And is there a tree?
Frank: No, instead there’s an aluminum pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.
Kramer: Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.
Frank: Let’s do it, then! Festivus is back! I’ll get the pole out of the crawl space!

9.10 - The Strike

Elaine: What?
George: Nothing. It’s a card from my dad.
Elaine: What is it? “Dear son, Happy Festivus”? What is Festivus?
George: It’s nothing.
Jerry: When George was growing up —
George: Jerry, NO!
Jerry: — his father hated all commercial and religious aspects of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday.
Elaine: Ohhhhh, and another piece of the puzzle falls into place.
George: Alright.
Jerry: And instead of a tree, didn’t your father put up an aluminum pole?
George: Alright, Jerry, stop it!
Jerry: And weren’t there always Feats of Strength that always ended up with you crying?
George: I can’t take it any more, I’m going to work! You happy now?!

9.10 - The Strike

Jerry: What are you doing?
Kramer: Getting some cereal.
Jerry: That’s — that’s tomato juice!
Kramer: That looked like milk to me!

8.08 - The Chicken Roaster

Jerry: It was a scratch!

4.13 - The Pick

Newman: Okay, what is it?
Jerry: Here, take a look at this card, tell me if you notice anything unusual about it.
Newman: Yeah, your nipple’s showing.
Jerry: Okay, thanks.
Newman: Anything else?
Jerry: No.
Newman: Alright. See you later.

4.13 - The Pick

TV Announcer: It looks like Woody Woodpecker is running out of air. In fact, he’s collapsing.
Kramer: Those kids look pretty disappointed.
Jerry: Especially that big kid up in the front. How old is he?

6.08 - The Mom and Pop Store

Kramer: I really like those glasses he was wearing. Where’d he get those?
Elaine: Why? You don’t wear glasses.
Kramer: I know, I know, but I need a new look. I’m stagnating.
George: I have to say, as a glasses wearer, I take exception to that. That’s like me buying a wheelchair to cruise around in.
Kramer: Yeah, I’ve considered that.

6.13 - The Scofflaw

George: Can’t you just switch with another midget?
Mickey: It’s “little people”. You got that?

5.16 - The Stand

Susan: I’ll tell you, I’d never name my child Soda.
George: Oh, no, no, no, of course not. I’ve got a great name for our kids. Real original. You wanna know what it is? Hmm? You ready?
Susan: Yeah?
(George whistles and draws a seven in the air)
Susan: What is that, sign language?
George: No. Seven.

7.13 - The Seven

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